Modem Mayhem and Other Things: #Project30Days

Dear Readers,

I’ve got some awesome things to tell you before I crash. well, okay… so I have two really awesome things to tell you. Hey, who said I have to be accurate with my numbers? I never was very good at math…

Anyway, first thing’s first. As this post is part of a Project 30 Days post, I thought I’d write about my quote for today, before everything else. That way the Project 30 Days community can get right to business and check that I’m actually living up to what I’d hoped to do.

So, here’s my quote for today:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
~Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles,” 1992 (commonly misattributed to Nelson Mandela, 1994 inauguration speech)

In my opinion, this quote doesn’t need a lot of explanation. The only thought that goes through my mind when I see this is a resounding, forehead slapping “Der!” I read that quote, and all I can think of is how right it is. Naturally, we really shouldn’t puff ourselves up, but in the same token, we need to be careful about letting ourselves get to deflated. I say “We” when I guess really I mean “I.”

I’ve a feeling that I’ll run into more and more thoughts about this quote as time goes by. Right now, there’s not a lot that needs be said, other than “Holy crap how did I forget about this?” This quote will definitely serve as a good, stern reminder for me. I tend to need those more often than I prefer to admit, come to think of it. Definitely glad I found that one.

So then, today was interesting in that it was finally time to quit putting off the modem setup process. Dad and I have both been putting it off since we got the thing on the twenty-seventh of last month. Dad (Hi Dad) kept saying he just didn’t want to, and I kept avoiding it and celebrating every time another day went by that we didn’t have to deal with it.

Well, today was the day we got off our asses and decided to install it. Actually, I don’t really remember how it came up. My brain is a bit mushy after everything’s been said and done. The point is that today was the Big Day.

I stressed through every step of the process, and I think I drove Dad a bit mad with reminding him to wait on certain things, just to be safe. I was terribly afraid that we’d get just about finished only to find out something had gone wrong. Or, worse yet, everything would look fine, work properly on one computer, but not on another.

From a previous post, yesterday’s in fact, I was freaking over the “what ifs” instead of the “what is” bits. I huffed and puffed and stressed and worried and rung my hands to death through the entire process, watching to make sure everything went smoothly… and nothing has gone up in flames!

So far, not even an hour into the new internet setup, we seem to be doing quite well for ourselves. We still need to test to see if the TV works all right, though. that part is making me a little nervous, honestly. It’s kinda stupid to worry, because I won’t know really how to fix it if the TV doesn’t work. If all the computers we’ve got are working, why wouldn’t the TV be happy with the setup? I’ll probably have to go through the whole channel finding process again. I think I need to do some more research, honestly, if the TV goes roar.

I’m starting to not make sense, I think. Sorry for the confusion, guys. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m still nervous about whether or not the TV’s gonna work with this new setup. Everything else seems to be doing fine, though. I was able to watch Youtube without any stuttering. I haven’t tested a purely audio stream yet, but I figured that video was more taxing on the bandwidth than audio, so part of me doesn’t feel the need at present.

This whole modem thing was interesting because it was one of those times where I worried far too much. Yet, I was able to apply the whole “step away” concept when things were beyond my control. For instance, during the waiting times, where we had to wait for things to activate themselves and stuff like that, the suspense was driving me crazy. I was stupidly afraid that we’d get an error somewhere, and that I wouldn’t know how to fix it. I really, really hate not knowing how to fix things!

Still, as always, I found out I worried too much for no real reason. The plus here is that I was able to recognize this and think my way through my anxieties and focus on what was going on at the moment–something Da’s been trying to teach me how to do for a while now. He’s always said that when you’re having anxiety, focus on the now, and not anything else. I never have been able to do that very well in those cases. Today just so happened to be a day where I could actually apply the theory. It wasn’t easy, but it sure worked like a charm.

On another random note, I introduced Da to this blog today. I’ve been kinda mentioning it to him every so often that he should just visit when he’s bored. So, those little things like Hi Dad and stuff like that are to see if he catches them. So Dad, if you’re reading this, you should tell me about it, because you can, and because it’s fun hearing about such things.

So, with our internet all set up and apparently working how it’s supposed to, I think I’m going to close for the time being. I’m a little disappointed at how this post came out, but my brains are a little scrambled, so I guess I have a bit of an excuse. Perhaps the next one will be better.

Take care, guys, and thanks for checking in.

Most Sincerely,