Well, today’s the last day of the month and also my Project 30 Days challenge. Personally, I consider I’ve had quite the success with this. I set a goal to blog every day as much as circumstances allowed for it, and if I missed a day, I’d post twice to make up for it. In short, I thought to set a goal for thirty posts for thirty days. This just so happens to be the thirtieth post.
There have been a few days where I wasn’t able to think of anything amazingly profound or even interesting, but I blogged anyway. The times I slept before or forgot to write a post, I was sure to blog as soon as I could about the day before, and then write later that same day about my most current ideas. Throughout all of this venture, I’ve learned one major thing I need to work on, and that is coming to proper terms with my perfectionist nature. You can read more about my plans for that in previous posts.
Another thing I learned is that while I may not be receiving loads of comments on these posts, people are still reading them. There was a time where I thought more comments meant more readers. Come to find out, that isn’t necessarily true. I’ve had very few comments, but I’ve had more readers than I ever expected to get. To those of you who lurk and never want to show your faces, it would be really neat to know who you are. For those who have told me that you’re keeping up with these posts in some manner, thank you very much for your support and genuine interest. Even to the so-called lurkers, I say thank you for reading, even though you don’t tell me about it. You don’t always need to make a lot of noise to get noticed in the crowd–sometimes all it takes is to sit back in a corner and let everybody draw to you instead.
So, guess what happened today? Well, about an hour or so ago, give or take a bit, Da comes home from work and knocks on my bedroom door. He says, “I’m going to get the guitar.” (He had it sent into a local music shop to get it fixed last Friday.) There was a pause, during which I acknowledged this. The next thing he said was, “So, you want a couple of those whistles we were looking at the other day?”
Inwardly, I winced, because he’d already paid for my headphones, as mentioned in an earlier post. Given that he said he wanted to pay for those whistles, I shook off the feeling of guilt and simply said, “Yeah. I’ll take the nickel one in B flat, and a brass one in C.” It felt really weird, but it was good for me. I really, really have a hard time letting other people pay for stuff I’m wanting.
Come to think of it, I have a hard time letting people do just about anything for me, unless it’s really downright obvious that I can’t do it on my own–and by that I mean obvious to myself. Letting people open doors for me, buy me drinks, carry things, pull out chairs, paying for meals out, etc. There’s something in the back of my mind that tells me that I’m the one that needs to be responsible for myself, not everybody else needs to be responsible for me. On the other hand, there are cases where I need to let others do those kinds of things. Otherwise I’m being insulting! That is a little perplexing at times, honestly, but I get through it all right. something to work on, I suppose. Don’t cringe when somebody offers you things you know you could use. Or rather, don’t cringe so much. I need to find the balance between courteously taking what is offered to me and looking like a jerk for taking everything that anyone offers just because I can.
I half wonder if this stems from my lack of self confidence. It’s like, if I take responsibility for the things I want, I’m the one to blame for if something goes wrong, and that won’t be put on anyone else’s head. Kinda funny, when I think about it. I really think I go a little overboard sometimes! Yep, definitely need to find that balance somewhere.
So, I think, over the next little while, I’ll blog more regularly about the little things I’ve managed to do that normally I’d have a hard time with. It all starts with the small things, right?
In summary, I feel really, really good about the things that have transpired during the past month. It’s not just that, though. It’s the fact that I know where to start next month, as well. Given my birthday is not even a week and a half into May, I feel I can safely say that I’m going to start off my twenty-sixth year with a very bright outlook. Oh, and I got two new Generation (yes I know they look like Christmas toys) whistles to boot. I’m just about to head off to properly break them in.
So, I will close here for the time being. While I may not blog every single day as I have in the past, you can rest assured that I will keep more regular updates as to the happenings in my life. It seems to help me order my thoughts a little better, and better record the memories and ideas I will later be glad I kept. Like the careful preservation of a photograph, I’ll be able to look back on these words and treasure the memories from which they were written.
Thanks guys, for sticking with me throughout these thirty days. Thanks to those of you who have read from the beginning, in spite of my irregular updates. May you continue to find good things here. Think I can live up to it? I certainly will try!
Best of luck!